Terraria Review: The Greatest Video Game Of All Time?

Attention all viewers. We’d like to interrupt your playing of shitty video games to bring you this dire announcement. The time has come for you to know about Terraria, or ‘TerrARia’ if you’re a limey British bastard. Now if you’ve played this game, you will definitely appreciate this video. If you have not heard of this game…get ready for some shit. Because by the end of this video you will understand why this is one of the greatest video games ever made.

Now, this game is not for everybody. I’m sure there are people who are just not into this type of gaming experience. But I wanted to make this video for 3 reasons. 1, it’s one of my favorite games in the world. 2, the majority of console gamers have still never heard of this game. And 3, most of the videos on YouTube of this game feature a really jolly British guy. I love all these guys, I really do because I share their excitement and love for this game. This is some exciting shit. Now let us begin the analysis of the awesomeness.

Terraria starts you out with a character create feature and a create a world feature. You can have up to 6 different characters and 16 different characters at once. And all of your characters can share worlds with one another, so everything you make is shared. When you first enter your new world, you’re given the 3 basic tool items; the sword, the pickaxe and the axe. The sword is used for attacking enemies, the pickaxe is used for digging and removing objects, and the axe is used for cutting down trees and harvesting wood which is used for building. The core of this game is all about manipulating your environment to get around. Sometimes you’ll have to build platforms or stairs to cross large gaps, or build a rope that you can climb down instead of falling to your death. The physics in this game are excellent and using items like the grappling hooks or climbing boots, they make exploring a lot of fun even in the early parts of the game, way before you get the wings or the hoverboard. Come on, I mean this alone is just fucking amazing. God, I love this game.

The first goal is to build a house. So get enough wood to do that. Any small room with 1 table, a chair, a door and a light source will do. And you gotta have walls of course. The reason you want to build a house immediately is because by nightfall, a lot more enemies come out and they can be pretty tough with your starter equipment. The more houses you build, the more NPCs/Shop vendors will move into your settlement to sell you items. You’re gonna need some of these guys handy at all times especially the Nurse and the Arms Dealer. You don’t have to use different building blocks every time you build a room. I just did that to be cool.

Once you’ve built your home base, this is basically the game in a nutshell: You explore the land and mostly dig underground. You collect a bunch of awesome shit and you do this until you either get killed, kill yourself or just teleport back to base on your own. You take all the stuff you just found, you put it all away in chests And you go and do it all over again until you end up with all of this. Is that not just a fucking awesome gaming concept? And I guarantee that you’ll find a bunch of new items every time you explore. There are that many different items in the game. You can either continue down the tunnel you were digging through or start a whole new one. They give you an insane amount of land to cover and this is considered one of the small worlds.

At first, I recommend making a tunnel from your basement deep underground – similar to the tunnels of the deep underground military bases that the US is secretly building – with a long rope for quick and easy access to really deep layers of the earth. In the beginning you want to focus on finding as much of this rare ore/metal as you possibly can. The two main things you do to advance in this game are building/crafting as much as possible and exploring as much of the map as possible. You’ll never get tired of opening a chest and finding a new cool weapon to play with. Once you’ve dug deep into the earth a few times and explore the surface area, you’ll start to accumulate slightly more powerful weapons and a lot of this metal which can be crafted into basic level armor. Also you’ll start to pick up cool and quirky little accessories that allow you to customize how you play the game.

Digging might be a relaxing endeavor but fighting enemies can be some edge-of-your-seat shit. And the bosses in this game are EPIC. In Terraria,you don’t just summon a boss and fight it. Especially in the beginning, boss battles are a huge undertaking. I remember times where I had to construct an arena with adequate platforms for fighting a particular boss, and then built a house nearby the arena and moved a Nurse in so she can heal me during the battle! Some of these bosses take some serious terrain preparation. If you just fight them head on with no potions or no plan, you’ll find that they’re extremely difficult. But if you take the time to prepare a good arena, and have the right weapons, armor and potions, then the bosses become a lot easier.

If you dig far down enough you’ll reach what looks like hell where you can fight a boss called the Wall of Flesh. Now once you beat the Wall of Flesh you transform your world into a ‘Hardmode’ world. Now this is where shit gets good. This spawns a ton of new enemies on the surface and in the underground biomes, new dungeons to explore, a ton of new and different metals to collect meaning much stronger armors and weapons to craft, and of course a bunch of awesome new bosses to face. Hardmode is where the game gets zany.

There are many different crafting stations that you can unlock throughout the game that all have a different purpose. Some stations are used for making different types of armor and weapons, other stations are used only for making furniture. And some are only used for making special items like boss summoners. And since the latest patch there are now several thousand items in the game. It really is mind-blowing how many different types of armor, weaponry and building blocks there are in this game. It’s fucking crazy. I mean there’s a lot of shit. I don’t think I’ve seen all the items in the 3 playthroughs that I’ve done of this game. Take the wood for example. There’s so many different types of wood that you can build with, and acquire by cutting down all the different trees that you find. You might not even see all the wood in your first playthrough. There’s so many different types of wood!

I hope you’re starting to see why Terraria is such a massive achievement in gaming. For a game made by 2 tiny little companies, 505games and Re-Logic, it really is mind-blowing how much gameplay they fit into this little 20 dollar package. And I literally built everything that you see on this screen; every room, every little torch that you see. I built that wooden plank platform, I gathered the water and dumped it in this hole to form this little pool, I dug up a bunch of clay and crafted pots for this greenhouse, I put up this nice grassy wall I gathered woodland creatures and trapped them in little glass terrariums…this is the effect this game has on you. This game is actually a lot like an acid trip. Not just visually, but also just the fact that this game and LSD are the only times where you can willingly sit in the same spot for like over 12 hours straight. You can really lose your life into this thing. I guess it’s more like heroin than acid. But the point is, it should be on the Schedule 1 Controlled Substances list. There’s just so much to do at all times! Am I crazy? Is this not amazing?

I​ asked some people on the Terraria Community Forums what they love most about the game, and the responses show that it’s impossible to pick just one thing. Many people ​enjoy the simple act of digging and mining for ore as it’s not only kind of relaxing, but there’s always that really exciting promise that all this ore will be turned into stronger armor and weapons. That excitement never gets old and they sustain it well throughout the game as you mine for all these different types of ore and unlock the better equipment. Many people praise the variety of weapons that are in the game; anything from swords to bows and arrows, guns, magic weapons that are of course the coolest ones of all, and a lot of people simply enjoy the controls and mechanics of how you navigate the land. The wings and flight gear make it one of the smoothest and most versatile platformers ever made. There aren’t as many shoes as some people might have hoped for. I think that my personal favorite thing about this game might be that you’re always collecting items. There’s never really a wasted second in this game. Even if I just pick up a few dirt blocks and some sunflower seeds, it still feels like an accomplishment. The fact that you’re constantly collecting and building your inventory makes you feel like you’re always gaining something and that there’s never a wasted moment. Collecting is 24/7.

And the building! Look what people have built in this game. Look at this. It’s just fucking amazing. I could look at this stuff for hours. It’s like porn. I mean, good lord. If you don’t think this game looks incredible, you’re either just not into games like this which is fine…or you’re just an asshole. I mean a real asshole. You know what? I don’t even know what to say to a person like you. What a disgust. You know it’s people like you that make other countries want to attack us, it’s people like you that allow the government to walk all over us! It’s people like you who allow them to hide the truth about aliens and the free energy technology!

And these 2 companies deserve way more recognition than they’re getting. And until this Terraria: Otherworld and the fabled Terraria 2 are released, you have plenty of shit to hold you over. I’m just going to do a rapid fire list of some more amazing things about this game. The amount of enemies is almost something you can’t keep track of, the amount of furniture and decorations is astronomical, the amount of updates the game receives regularly is amazing, the multiplayer is ridiculous, the graphics are amazing, the soundtrack is amazing, the sound effects are amazing, the price is amazing…

Asking if Terraria is worth playing is like asking if marijuana is worth smoking, or if beer is worth drinking. It’s not a question of whether it’s good or bad. It’s a question of can you handle how good it is? Thanks for watching. Now go buy this game.

leelustigTerraria Review: The Greatest Video Game Of All Time?

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